baby, baby, baby.

part 1
location: rcb (stands for red carnation ball, the tke formal).
nick and taylor decided they are going to fight for my honor. we're talking full out jousting here. jeter's date, hope, and i are watching in the box that's supposed to be reserved for the king and queen (because now, we're actually in a jousting arena) and i lean over to her and say, "you know, this would probably be much more noble if i was still a virgin and had honor to defend." at this point, alisha pops up from behind my chair and goes, "it's called a lance, hellooooo."

part 2
location: phelps computer lab.
only, it's outside. on a hill. and i have to put my rolling chair up and it keeps rolling down the hill. josh and michelle show up and help me push my (now 300lb chair) up the hill to the computer desk where we put rocks around it to keep it from moving.

part 3
location: alisha, mine, and nicole's apartment next semester.
but it's not like the apartments in the apartment complex we're living in next year. it's a loft-style apartment and i have a daughter. that's right, i have a daughter. an adorable little blonde haired girl that looks a lot like i did when i was two (how old she was). we're having a party, so she's in her room playing. greg and ethan have been invited and are playing beer pong, but taylor has to sneak in because he was not invited (if you know the situation, this is VERY odd). i go upstairs (sort of) to check on my daughter (that's weird to say even in this context) and walk in on alisha and her bf having sex on a couch that's in the hall. i tell them to cover it up because there's a kid in the house. i go in and check on her and taylor follows me, telling me he wants to hold his little girl. i say no and keep insisting that she's not his and he goes, "i've got the paternity test results. she's mine, hand her over." to which i refuse and wake up.

scary.

this dream was SCARY. and not scary in a "things jumping out at you or chasing you" sort of way, but scary is in "oh my god i hope this never ever ever ever ever EVER happens." unfortunately, i can't go into much more detail. let's just say it involves some things being shown to some people that those some people never need to see. ever. yeah.

insanity.

well i don't remember the dream, but it must have been a helluva physically trying one. i woke up with both blankets on the floor, sheets pulled to one side of the bed (with them wrapped around my ankle) and the covers to the other side. i had pushed my pillow through the little slot in the headboard and i was slightly out of breath.


man, i really wish i could remember this one.

wonderful.

i experienced the wonderful, deep dreamless sleep last night. you know the kind. where your mind doesn't have the energy to show you anything but black and your body doesn't have the energy to move around and you wake up in the same position you fell asleep in. it was fabulous.

toads, snakes, and turtles.

first dream: i'm in the story "the wind in the willows," helping mr. toad to fix his car. it's all very similar to that scene in "alice in wonderland" where the white rabbit is barking orders at alice, calling her mary ann, only mr. toad was calling me mary jane. i kept telling him my name was kat and he insisted it couldn't be because "cats eat toads." i told him, "i've had frog legs before. does that count enough for you to call me by my name?" he freaked and ran to get the badger and the mole.

second dream: i forgot.

third dream: i'm laying on the dock at my grandparents' house at the lake. in front of me, there's a hole in the dock that goes straight through to the water. on my side, is kind of a step down so you can see between the different levels of the dock. i see a snake laying under the level of the dock that i am on, right next to the hole so i take my camera, put it on a self-timer and set it next to the snake to take a picture of it. as i'm telling my mother what i'm doing, the snake takes the camera in his mouth and pushes it into the hole and into the water. quickly, i go to grab it, but he follows it into the water and i do not want to get bitten by him. forgetting that it's april and the water is cold, i jump in, put on some goggles and grab the camera off the bottom of the lake then get out of the water as quickly as i can because the snake is still in there. i look on the shore and see a turtle, a very large turtle (sea turtle size, much larger than the turtles that reside in lake murray) and he's waving at me. i go to take a picture because i know that no one will believe me when i tell them i saw a turtle of that size waving at me. but just as i go to snap the picture, he dives in the water and speeds off to the little point of land that juts out into the lake a good 50 yards away. again he waves, but in a more beckoning way, asking me to follow him. just as i'm about to step foot in the water to get to him, i wake up.

tfln.

so i used to have this rule, right? and this rule was: no sexing guys i'm not in a relationship with. cause, to be perfectly honest, it wasn't working out for me. at all. well, apparently i'm not the only one to have had this rule because i was on textsfromlastnight.com the other day and there was a text on there from this guy to his friend about a girl who told him the same thing. only, he told his friend that he dated her for an hour, then broke up with her.

last night, in my dream, i witnessed taylor send this message to greg (obviously, about me). and for the rest of the dream, i wandered in and out of various rooms in a trance. all of these rooms were decorated with comic book hero themes. some that i can recall were: batman, deadpool, kick ass, spiderman, the scarlet spider, the fantastic four, and wonderwoman.

tin man.

i was in oz. and i want to go back.

fair.

it's last october, over fall break and taylor and i are at the fair. we go into that g-force ride. as the thing starts spinning, i look over and taylor's gone and ryan's holding my hand instead. as i look around the ride, i realize that the people in there are all the people i've ever hooked up with and taylor's the guy sitting in the middle, controlling the ride. the ride doesn't stop until i wake up.

thanksgiving.

setting the stage: thanksgiving at taylor l's house this past year. except this time, my friend taylor f was there with some friends of her's she knows from irmo. when mom called and asked when i was coming home, i said that i was going to spend the night with taylor f at her house instead. she said cool and that was that. stayed at taylor l's house.

fast forward to today and we were still together.


**i don't want to be back together. i'm happy with what we've got going on now. so WHY did this dream come up out of the blue? i haven't been dreaming about taylor since my last post on here. what on earth is this dream trying to tell me??**

gisting.

taylor wanted me back. the feelings were not reciprocated, so he said "hah! just kidding," and left his arm around my shoulder.

progress.

i can only kinda sorta remember one thing from last night's set of dreams. in it, it was yesterday right after i had gotten out of the shower. i was putting lotion on my legs and for some reason, 5 minutes later all the sores started popping up everywhere i had put the lotion. they didn't hurt, but they were gruesome looking.

[s]lacking.

no, i'm not slacking. i'm just lacking in the dream department right now.

storm.

so in this dream, i finally take the mountain trip that some friends of mine and i have been planning for a while now. we go up in two separate cars and when we get there, we're not actually at the mountain house. we're at my grandmother in north augusta's house. regardless, we go on as if it were the mountain house and have a grand old time. in the kitchen, instead of the round wooden table she has, there is a bed and that's the one my friend carl and i share because "it's our mountain house" so we'll take the "main bedroom, even though it only has one queen bed." (in the actual mountain house, this is the case). there's sexual tension for the entire "weekend" but we don't actually do anything. when it's time to start packing up and heading home, there's another guy there from my high school that i don't particularly like but don't hate either. he says that we are now dating, much to mine (and carl's) dismay.

as we're packing, the two main characters from "wizards of waverly place" show up and start having a magic fight. they unleash this huge dragon and i run into the den of my grandmother's house. since it's too big to actually get in the house, it just stretches out it's neck and that winds through the house, looking for me. when it does eventually get to the den, i'm waiting for it and crush it's head with the tv. we continue packing.

suddenly, we're at my house in newberry, but we're still packing as though we were in the mountain house (that looks like my grandmother's). my mom and her friend are there. we look out the windows and within view on the horizon, there is a harbor and a storm mellowing in it. all of a sudden, the storm kicks up a tidal wave and one of those huge old wooden ships is tossed from the ocean by it, landing almost right at our house. relieved that my entire family was in the house, safe and sound, i was awoken by my alarm.

private.

oh my.

this one was private. much too much too private to share on the internet.


let's just say, i don't think i'll be having dreams about taylor again anytime soon. fingers crossed, anyway.

chaos.

i had about four or five dreams last night and i'm only remembering in bits and pieces. these are the ones i remember enough to hold a significant amount of weight. and yes, i'm aware of the pattern going on in them.

#1
i'm at a party at my grandmother's house and i'm walking around looking for taylor. i run into my mom and she asks me what i'm doing and i tell her that i'm looking for taylor. she starts laughing at me saying, "what is going on in your head? you think he'd actually come? he doesn't love you."

#2
i'm sitting outside my dorm room in the hall talking to taylor, telling him about a dream i had last night (i didn't actually have it, but regardless i think i did). in it, we had broken into the church i used to go to as a kid and playing over the loud speakers in the church (it doesn't actually have loud speakers) was "so desperate" by the mountain goats (i can only assume because we were in an episcopalian church). we walked up to the altar, side by side, and then he turned and looked at me. and then, we had the entire conversation we had when breaking up. at the end of the conversation, we both turned and walked off different sides of the altar. i turned and looked at him, he kept staring straightforward.

#3
my parents have just bought me a new red sports car. i'm driving along cherry road when i get the sudden urge to go into this comic book shop i'd been to a few times with taylor before. when i was pulling back out onto cherry, i tried to gun it in front of this other car. i managed to get ahead of the other car, but couldn't slow down in time to avoid hitting the car stopped at the stop light in front of me. both cars not severely damaged, we pulled them over into the parking lot beside cherry road so that we wouldn't hold up traffic. a policeman pulls up and tells me i'm going to have a $7500 ticket in addition to 4 points. i start crying, but no tears are coming out. like, i'm literally participating in the act of crying but there is no liquid coming from my eyes. the cop is looking at his paper and goes, "now, now. you're parents aren't exactly pushing diamonds here but they don't have a lot going on. they can pay $7500." and i said, "no, no they can't. they have to keep putting me through school and my sister next year and keep paying for this car and they just paid for me to go to paris and my sister to go on a cruise for our spring breaks and i could cover a $85 ticket so they wouldn't find out about it, but i can't take care of $7500." the policeman comes and wraps his arm around my shoulders and says, "there, there. it's alright. taylor's here." and i look over and the cop is taylor.

nothing.

black. empty. nothingness.

it really worries me when i don't dream.

church, target, and dying.

part 1

it's the middle of june and i'm at salkehatchie (church camp similar to habitat for humanity). one group, instead of actually going out and building houses, is left at the church to guard the pews and alter that were moved out of the sanctuary for it's remodeling. i am in said group, so we pretty much just sit around watching movies all day. then, just to get the whole experience, we decided to paint the inside of the pantry with the door closed (for the high feeling you always get after painting at salkehatchie).

when we exit the pantry, there is a dance competition going on in the family life center. there are three contestants and then those three contestants pick whomever they want to be part of their dance crew and then battle it out. these three contestants are: my ex-boyfriend, taylor, corbin bleu, and a guy i used to work with, ian. i don't pay attention to the first two groups, but the last one i do because it's taylor's. as i'm watching, all i can do is laugh. when he asks if they were that bad, i reply, "no, you're just so white."

i turn around and there is a little confession booth behind a bar set up on the far wall. i walk over to it, look inside, see nothing and then come back out from behind the bar. as i do, ashleigh (from the tv show "greek") and a guy dressed as a priest run into the confession booth and start getting hot and heavy.

part two

i'm suddenly at target. but it's not an american target, it's a french target. monica, jared, and ally are there. monica goes to the next aisle to talk to her dad and jared and i go up to make a purchase. as jared buys his apples, i decide not to buy the book i was going to get (the fifth harry potter book, one i already own) because it's too expensive. i go over to the next aisle and the next thing i know, i'm driving a station wagon through trees (like, literally up IN the trees) that look surprisingly similar to the trees in farmville.

part three

ally and i are sitting in her bathroom with the door locked because two guys (the previously mentioned ian and his brother) are killing everyone in the house. they already have 50 people lined up outside and are now looking for us. we decided to flood the bathroom, so they'll think we aren't in there (dream logic, you know). they call it their game and i start to feel very similar to anne frank while she was hiding from the nazis.

then something strange happened. i became aware that i was in a dream. so, knowing i was in the dream, i knew that i could control dream ian to have a change of heart and not kill ally and me. so not taking any of it seriously, i decided to download a song i "wanted played during our hanging." (the song was "it's the end of the world as we know it" by r.e.m.). then, because i knew i was in a dream, i remembered that i had to type all of this out in my new blog. as soon as i started typing, ian and his brother finally busted into the bathroom. still thinking that i could control the situation, i tried to convince ian to allow me to continue downloading and typing. he didn't. it was at this point that i realized i couldn't control the dream anymore. as allyson and i were being walked out to the gallows, we walked past taylor, who was sitting on the couch in ally's living room that i always sleep on when i spend the night. he was laughing. i started yelling at him, "why are you laughing? can't you see we're going to die? they've already put the nooses around our necks!" and he says, "you laughed at my dancing."

memory.

dreams have always fascinated me, and when i have them i almost always remember them.

so since the dream journal thing didn't work out, i'm hoping the dream blog will.

so, until tomorrow morning then...